Day 1: Love is Patient

10/15/16

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. —Ephesians 4:2 NIV

TODAY’S DARE
The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.

Journal questions: Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate? Were you temped to think disapproving thoughts and let them come out in words? How did you handle that?

My responses: First of all it said "say nothing negative" I'm not sure you can explain a hurt and have it not sound negative. But I really tried.

What happened was (a very big deal) and he took no responsibility for his failure yesterday (as usual) to be supportive to me in the way I need him to be. Support he knows I need, but refuses to do it because of his own extreme selfishness. He only responds when that issue that upsets me, affects him. I find myself thinking: "I cannot live with a man who refuses to, or could care less to, fill my basic emotional needs, especially the very important ones (like this one), he knows he should.

I handled it by going to a friend with my hurts, upset and anger. I cannot go to him because he turns it around on me each time, defensing himself as if I was the one who did something wrong. I'm supposed to go to him with my deepest hurts for him to listen, see me, validate me and support me. I feel like I am trying to make sense of a senseless thing with him.

I am trying to do this 40 day Love Dare, but truth is, I have been walking in Love for the past 3 years. This book says "practice the patience and that will foster peace"--not so much.